Edible Apple

The original source of the “Apple is purchasing Twitter!” rumor was Valleywag, so I figured I’d mosey on over there and take a look at what they had to say.  What I found was some of the most asinine tech writing and analysis I’ve ever read.  I kinda felt like I was reading a Rob Enderle article if that tells you anything.

A source who’s plugged into the Valley’s deal scene and has been recruited by Apple for a senior position says Apple and Twitter are in serious negotiations, with the goal of unveiling a deal by June 8, when Apple’s annual Worldwide Developers Conference launches in San Jose.

So let’s get this straight.  VW’s source is plugged into the Valley deal scene, andhas been recruited by Apple for a senior position?  What are the odds?!  But things take a turn for the absurd when Valleywag tries to rationalize why Apple might be interested in buying Twitter.

What does Twitter, an adorable but unprofitable startup, have to do with a hardware company like Apple? The iPhone is the obvious driver of the deal: The many iPhone apps like Tweetie that people use to post Twitter messages are hot sellers for Apple. But Apple gets the benefit of Twitter-addicted iPhone users whether or not it owns Twitter. And it seems like an odd cultural fit, since Apple’s hardly known for its Web prowess.

That’s where the deal makes a certain amount of sense, if you understand the particular culture of those who work on the Web. While Apple might have its pick of hardware designers and software engineers, Web developers are a breed apart — and they have balked at working at a company like Apple…

Twitter , of course, is open in both nature and spirit. Users overshare every last detail of their lives, while Twitter makes these updates available on its website, via RSS, and through third-party applications. Apple is surely realizing it needs to play in this world, and needs someone to show it the way.

And the bullshit of the year award goes to…  Valleywag!!

Lastly, and this is the last I’ll speak on the topic, Apple bought P.A Semi for $278 million, a deal which included engineers, patents, and a boatload of intellectual property and chip design know-how.  Does anyone honestly think Apple would pay nearly 3x as much for a company like Twitter?