Edible Apple

Hours after Google unleashed Google Buzz into the wild, tech pundit Jason Calacanis penned a moronic article claiming that Google Buzz is brilliant, ground-breaking, and “game-changing brilliant.” In classic Calacanis fashion, he lists out a number of ridiculous arguments in a feeble attempt to back up his assertion.

1. Google Buzz 1.0 is better than Facebook after six or seven years.

No it’s not. It’s not even close. Calacanis, you’re an idiot.

2. Facebook’s history is one filled with stealing other people’s
innovations and doing them better (i.e. Zuckerberg has stolen every
idea Evan Williams and the Twitter team have released). How ironic now
that Google has out “Facebooked” Facebook. Google

So let’s get this straight – Facebook churns out better features than its competitors. And?? What’s your point, exactly? Google out “Facebooked” Facebook? Who the hell is this guy? And as for stealing ideas, Google Buzz is really a poor man’s implementation of Twitter and Facebook status updates. Lastly, is there some personal beef between Calacanis and Zuckerberg that we’re not aware of?

3. Google has excellent privacy record and Facebook is a disaster.
Most folks do not trust Zuckerberg and Facebook any more because of
their privacy record (filled with lawsuits) and because they steal
every good idea they see (i.e. Twitter’s innovations and FourSquare’s
checking in).

This is pointless because people’s addiction to Facebook far outweighs any trust issues the masses may have with Zuckerberg. Also, claiming that Facebook’s privacy record is a “disaster” is grossly misleading, and not surprisingly, Calacanis provides no evidence to back up his claim. And besides, how does a solid track record in privacy make Google Buzz brilliant?

And funny that Calacanis brings up privacy given the backlash over Buzz’s lack of privacy.

How convenient that Calacanis ignores all of the inherent privacy problems in Google Buzz that were brought to the forefront immediately after its release. Seems like everyone’s favorite serial entrepeneur would be well-advised to do a more thorough review of a service (i.e more than 30 seconds) before he labels something as game changing.

Still want more evidence that Jason Calacanis is an idiot? Well you’re in luck!

4. Google Buzz auto generates your network–this is MUCH better process than Facebook’s.

This is not a much better process than Facebook’s. Quite the opposite, an auto-generated network is much much worse. Is Calacanis really this stupid? The auto-follow feature on Google Buzz generated so much vitriol that Google was forced to scrap the auto-follow feature altogether.

5. Google Buzz is way faster than the sluggish Facebook–this is a HUGE advantage.

Facebook, admittedly, can feel sluggish at times, but it’s by no means a deal breaker for Facebook users. And besides, just because my newly created website CalacanisKnowsNothing.com loads in a millisecond, that doesn’t mean it’s a site worth visiting or that it’s brilliant.

6. Google Buzz puts relies and updates into your GMAIL as
threads–this is BRILLIANT and a HUGE advantage.

Yawn. Calacanis sure likes using the word ‘brilliant’ a lot. Maybe it makes him feel smart. How cute.

Facebook is going to see their traffic get cut in half by Google Buzz.

This really is game over for Facebook because you know Microsoft and
Aol are going to copy Google Buzz as quick as they can. In fact, Aol
would have a HUGE renaissance if they simply knocked off Google Buzz’s
exact feature set. You would than have a reason to keep your @aol email address.

Well it looks like we now have a front runner now for the dumbest thing to ever come out of Jason Calacanis – and believe us, that’s no small feat!.

Is Calacanis really so stupid to think that Google Buzz, which has been universally panned thus far, will really have any effect on Facebook whatsoever? Or is he just playing us all for fools? Maybe it’s a little bit of both. And as for Microsoft and AOL copying Google Buzz.. who gives a shit? Calacanis is spewing nonsense like it’s going out of style, and it’s a true wonder of the modern age that a man with so little to say not only talks as much as he does, but has the ears of people in the tech industry.

This could actually derail the Facebook IPO. It’s that serious. Facebook usage is going to plummet in the next year or two because of this. There really is no reason for non-game playing people who use GMAIL to log into Facebook.

Does anyone out there have a clue what Calacanis’ personal beef with Facebook is? If anything, it seems like Calacanis is openly trying to derail a Facebook IPO. If Calacanis thinks that the only reason people log onto Facebook is to play f’n Farmville, then he might be spending too much time counting his money. There’s no coherent and rational reason why a significant number of people who use Facebook would drop it like a bad habit and start using Google Buzz. None.

Calcanis is so dumb that he gives other idiots a bad name. Seriously.

If Google Ads social gaming to Google Buzz Facebook is 2012’s Pointcast.

Wow…. this is just stunning.

Stunning? At this point we’re convinced that Calacanis is just blindly typing words.

OK, questions to the smart folks on the list:

1. Have you used Google Buzz?
2. How is Google Buzz better than Facebook?
3. What advantages does Google Buzz have over Facebook?
4. What advantages does Facebook have over Google?
5. Did you see this coming?
6. What do you attribute Google’s recent string of AMAZING products
including: Chrome, Android, Nexus One and Buzz?

Ha! What a pathetic attempt at sounding important. And is Calacanis slurping on Google or what? “How is Google Buzz better than Facebook.?” – leading question, much?

all the best,

Jason

All the best to you too, Jason.

Now you guys might be wondering, “Why pick on Jason?” And the answer to that, my friends, is quite simple. Jason is an attention whore who likes to position himself as an influential figure in the tech community. Time and time again, he thrusts himself onto a soapbox where he spews inarticulate ramblings that lack any semblance of substance. He’s a master link-baiter (case in point), and his goal isn’t to advance the discourse in tech, but merely to push along his own self-serving interests under the guise of being a leading thinker in technology. If Calacanis wants to put himself out there as an expert or as a talking head worth listening to, we won’t hesitate for a second to call him out on his bullshit. And to be honest, we’re surprised more people haven’t done so.

From what we can gather about Calacanis from podcasts and interviews, he seems like perfectly fine guy to hang out with in a social setting. But when he talks tech, he’s full of BS and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

If just one kid out there who questions the nonsense spilling out of Calacanis happens to google a search term that lands him on this page, then we’ve done our job to make the world a better place.